Today is CD 5, which means it's Clomid time.
I decided that I didn't want to pop a new drug with unknown side effects right before teaching Sunday School, so I didn't take it this morning. Also I forgot to bring it with me when I left for church. So there was that.
Actually, I was a little disappointed that I didn't bring it. I wanted to carry it on me all day, nice and close, like a pirate always keeps poison on their person in case they are captured. I thought that I would carry it around and then somehow spontaneously know the exact right moment to take it. Instead I just took when I got home from church / hanging out with California Cousin ("CC").
It was weird taking it. Because I anticipated the whole thing being a lot more dramatic than it actually turned out to be. In my mind, I guess I thought there would be an instantaneous Jekyll/Hyde transformation. I'd put the pill in my mouth and the second it touched my tongue I would double over in pain as it coursed through my veins, rapidly turning me into a monster. Suddenly, I'd be a crazed banshee, shrieking and clawing the faces off of any pregnant women I saw. Instead, when I put it on my tongue, all that happened was that the pill was really bitter and I had to choke it down and then eat a bunch of grapes to get the taste out of my mouth. And since then I've just been chilling on my bed. I haven't clawed anyone's face off at all.
Although, to be fair, I haven't seen any pregnant women yet. So we'll see how I handle it in the next week's worth of baby announcements and family gatherings. Potentially not as well as I am handling it while laying on my bed doing nothing.
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
The Day the Drug Deal Went Down
I made a drug deal today, you guys. That is the only thing that I will ever call fertility treatments, because the three or four times today that I said the word "drugs" my ob-gyn corrected me and said, "Call them medications, please" with increasing annoyance. And that amuses me. Because he was really upset by the end. And he has really big eyebrows, and I think that they were upset, too. They were quivering. So henceforth I will call my prescriptions "drug deals" and I will call my ob-gyn "Dr. Angry Eyebrows".
Because screw him. He's a nice guy and whatever, but he does not have time for me and he made that very clear every time I asked a question and he literally threw his hands up in the air instead of answering. Or made really vague comments about how "well, some diets say one thing and other diets say another and they all think they're right". Yes, but you are a medical professional. And I am asking YOU.
He gave me basically no information about drugs. (THAT'S RIGHT, I CALLED THEM DRUGS AGAIN, YOU DRUG DEALER.) I was like, "Listen, everyone I know who has used Metformin has been successful and everyone who uses Clomid is still trying, but I understand that my sample size is small, so, in your experience, which is more likely to yield results? And do you have any hard data on the average amount of months it takes to achieve pregnancy for your patients on each drug, or anything like that? Or just a general idea?"
And he was like, "I read an article a couple months ago that said they're pretty much the same." And he thought that answered my question. No, it did not. You read a freaking article? I can read articles. You have actual patients. I was asking about them. Did you not understand the question, or can you really just not remember whether or not these drugs (YES, DRUGS) have worked for any of the people who come into your office and pay a couple hundred dollars so that you can not answer any of their questions?
Then he printed out a three page article about what PCOS is for me as if I don't know how to use Google and haven't spent months reading ALL the articles in the universe on the myriad of problems with the disappointment machine I keep where my baby-grower should be.
And then he was like, "So are we done here? I'm done." Thanks, Dr. Angry Eyebrows. You have a nice day, too.
And, look. I get it. This is the thirty-millionth time he has had this conversation and written this prescription. But it's the first time that I have had this conversation, and it is his freaking job to answer my freaking questions about it!
Whatever. It's fine. I got a prescription for Clomid because the one and only thing that he actually told me was that Clomid is better if you don't need to lose weight and Metformin is better if you do. Thanks to my 20 pound weight loss extravaganza, my weight is not at all an issue. Soooo Clomid.
And on the 10th I'm going to get my progesterone checked to see if I ovulated this month.
And sometime in the next couple weeks, Husband is going to get his sperm checked. Which he has feelings about. But maybe I'll talk about that in another post. Just know for now that his feelings amuse me, because I have been having feelings for, like, ever. Your turn, sucker! Mwahaha.
Because screw him. He's a nice guy and whatever, but he does not have time for me and he made that very clear every time I asked a question and he literally threw his hands up in the air instead of answering. Or made really vague comments about how "well, some diets say one thing and other diets say another and they all think they're right". Yes, but you are a medical professional. And I am asking YOU.
He gave me basically no information about drugs. (THAT'S RIGHT, I CALLED THEM DRUGS AGAIN, YOU DRUG DEALER.) I was like, "Listen, everyone I know who has used Metformin has been successful and everyone who uses Clomid is still trying, but I understand that my sample size is small, so, in your experience, which is more likely to yield results? And do you have any hard data on the average amount of months it takes to achieve pregnancy for your patients on each drug, or anything like that? Or just a general idea?"
And he was like, "I read an article a couple months ago that said they're pretty much the same." And he thought that answered my question. No, it did not. You read a freaking article? I can read articles. You have actual patients. I was asking about them. Did you not understand the question, or can you really just not remember whether or not these drugs (YES, DRUGS) have worked for any of the people who come into your office and pay a couple hundred dollars so that you can not answer any of their questions?
Then he printed out a three page article about what PCOS is for me as if I don't know how to use Google and haven't spent months reading ALL the articles in the universe on the myriad of problems with the disappointment machine I keep where my baby-grower should be.
And then he was like, "So are we done here? I'm done." Thanks, Dr. Angry Eyebrows. You have a nice day, too.
And, look. I get it. This is the thirty-millionth time he has had this conversation and written this prescription. But it's the first time that I have had this conversation, and it is his freaking job to answer my freaking questions about it!
Whatever. It's fine. I got a prescription for Clomid because the one and only thing that he actually told me was that Clomid is better if you don't need to lose weight and Metformin is better if you do. Thanks to my 20 pound weight loss extravaganza, my weight is not at all an issue. Soooo Clomid.
And on the 10th I'm going to get my progesterone checked to see if I ovulated this month.
And sometime in the next couple weeks, Husband is going to get his sperm checked. Which he has feelings about. But maybe I'll talk about that in another post. Just know for now that his feelings amuse me, because I have been having feelings for, like, ever. Your turn, sucker! Mwahaha.
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