Monday, December 22, 2014

Merry Christmas!

So I got a package from Kentucky Cousin a couple nights ago, and when I opened it there was just a pile of cat figurines.  I immediately started laughing and setting them up on display, and each one I set up only made me laugh harder.  Because cat figurines.  I didn't even need the attached note to explain what the gift meant, but I still wanted to frame it when I saw it because it just said "Merry Fucking Christmas! <3 Aunt Flo".  If you don't get it, read this and then realize how great this present is and then come back.

It's a great present, right!?

And I really needed this gift right now because sometimes I forget why I started this blog and what the title really means to me.  Infertility sucks.  It's the worst.  It's full of pain and heartache and disappointment and mood swings and well-meaning but incredibly insensitive questions and embarrassing symptoms and inopportune crying fits and invasive doctor visits and scheduled sexytimes and jealousy and insecurity and bitter aliens from the planet Clomid who take over your body and make you furious for no reason.

But it's also funny!  Or at least, it can be.  And I want this blog to be a place where I can look PCOS in its ugly face and tell it a knock-knock joke.

For example:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

A pregnant woman.

A pregnant woman who?

A pregnant woman who has five seconds to get off my lawn before I strap her down and blow up her Facebook feed with pictures of MY stomach all day for the next nine months.  Enjoy, fatty!  You'll never be this skinny again!

So anyway that's why I'm here.  Turning infertility into WINfertility since 2014.  And I hope I can make you smile in the process.

Here's a picture of the new display in my living room:


  1. That is, without a doubt, the best cousin ever with the best sense of humor ever!

    If I knew you IRL, I'd be adding to the collection!

    Happy Christmas!

  2. First of all, I find it hilarious that there is an ad for Pregnancy Prevention on the side of your blog! Second, your threat to blow up pregnant lady's feed for nine months is awesome!! Hubby's cousin is about 6 weeks pregnant and posts daily updates about her symptoms and I'm ready to hurl. And thirdly, WINfertility is great. Thanks for the humor. We infertiles need it badly.

    1. I find it hilarious when that happens, too! The program is supposed to pull words from my blog and then spit out relevant ads (and then give me money whenever people click on them) but I think it gets very confused sometimes. NO ONE who is reading my blog is interested in pregnancy prevention. But I guess I do say the word pregnancy a lot.


      And oh my gosh. For real. It is not necessary to share that much.

      "Hold on a second, I need to check my Facebook really quickly to see if my friends have posted any new baby photos or belly pics," SAID NO ONE EVER.

  3. glad I discovered your blog.
    That's a hysterical present! Love the Winfertility! I need these laughs. The week leading up to Christmas is HARD! Last wrapping presents for the nieces and nephews...and the cooing and awwing I have to
    Your blog is really helping me.
    I'm part of the ICWL comments this week, but your blog is so helpful.

    1. It makes me really happy to hear that. Holidays are tough, man. And Christmas in particular has so many child-oriented elements to it. It's really unfair how adorable children are in Christmas paraphernalia and how excited they get about presents. Someone needs to hit them all with the ugly stick so I don't have to be so jealous all the time.

  4. I don't know your cousin but I love her! The photo made me crack up! Merry Fucking Christmas to all my IF and PCOS sisters! Also, when I was going through IF, whenever a pregnant friend appeared in my newsfeed, I just hid their ass from my feed indefinitely. I didn''t need to see that crap day in and day out for 9 months.

    1. Hahaha! That reminds me of this:


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