How am I? Umm...

I never thought the questions "how are you?" and "what's new?" would be such challenges for me.

There are two categories of askers, and I shall address them each individually.

Those Who Do Not Know:

Last night, an old friend got back in touch with me (am I old enough to have old friends?  I guess so.  Seems weird, though.) and asked what's new in my life.  This is a guy that I was very close to in high school, saw occasionally on breaks and things during college, and then lost touch with a few years ago.  This person asked me what was new.  It is an innocent question borne of genuine ignorance and equally genuine interest.  Several responses flitted through my mind:

The "Everything's Fine":

"Oh, not much!  Just loving life!  School is great; marriage is great; I'm basically living a fairy tale all day and every day!  I just wish I could share this joy with the world and especially with those in need!"

Pros:

• does not make anyone uncomfortable
• is not too much information in response to a casual question

Cons:

• makes me feel like a big fat liar

The "Sob Story":

"I just want babies and I don't have any and everyone else gets them and it isn't fair so I cry all of the time and nothing else in my life seems to have any meaning at all.  I have contemplated stealing babies.  I might have even actually stolen one briefly.  Don't worry about it.  Also, please don't tell the cops.  They don't understand my life."

Pros:

• it is accurate (well... not the baby stealing part.  I did not do that.  *shifty eyes*)
• it encourages a deeper level of communication

Cons:

• now he is trapped in a conversation about my problems
• I don't want PCOS to be the only thing that I ever, EVER freaking talk about 
• he might say one of those things I hate it when people say (see previous post, and/or imagine some well-meaning but unhelpful gobbledygook)

Those Who Know

This is equally tricky.  Because what do they mean?  Why are they asking?  How much are they asking?  Some responses:

The "Status Update":

"Pretty good.  My cervical mucus was slippery a few days ago so that's good news.  I had a lot of sexytimes and now I'm perma-crossing my fingers for two weeks.  They are super sore and it makes everyday chores harder.  Thanks for asking!"

Pros:

• This might legitimately be what they are asking
• Again, it is an honest description of what I am going through

Cons:

• This may not have been what they were asking AT ALL and now you've doomed them to more boring details and they want to slit their wrists but are forced instead to nod slowly
• Makes it seem like PCOS is the only thing going on in my life.  Sometimes I do feel like it is, but that doesn't mean I want to broadcast that to others.  I want others to think I'm cool and have, like, hobbies.  Or whatever.  Things I think about that don't rhyme with schmabies or schminfertility.

The "Grasping For Straws":

"I... went grocery shopping yesterday?  Still going to school... pretty much every day, now.... Uuuuhhhh.... oh!  Did you hear that the guy from High School Musical proposed to his girlfriend at Disneyland?  So that's a pretty big deal."

Pros:

• Probably less repetitive and more interesting than CM updates
• Might help me remember what else IS in my life right now and that's probably a good exercise for me
• If they were not asking for a PCOS update, I have responded in a socially appropriate way.  If they were, then they can clarify.

Cons:

• Even though I KNOW there are lots of things going on in my life, I can never think of them on the spot because my mind just keeps screaming unhelpful suggestions like, "Tell her about your comparison shopping of ovulation kits!  I'm sure she's interested in that!  Did you cover insurance questions yet?"
• Keeps the conversation more surface level.
• Once again just makes me feel like I'm not really answering honestly.

There are other options, but those are the main ones that immediately pop into my head when confronted with friendly, normal questions that people respond to all the time without having to make pro/con lists.  Can anyone think of any others?

(P.S.  In case any of YOU want to know how I'm doing...  I got my period today.  So.  Yeah.  At least 31 days is still pretty normal-like, right?  Come on, uterus.  Get it together.)