I appreciate your sensitivity . . . but stop it.

My first two posts detailed a few of the insensitive things people say to me about PCOS.  Those things are rough and/or annoying, but sometimes I think the people who are trying to be sensitive are even worse.

Pro tip, my friends: I am not going to fall apart if you say the word baby around me.  I know I'm a mess, but I'm not that bad.  And when you say it and then your face immediately crumples and your eyes water and you get all frowny and say "Oh my gosh, I'm SO sorry" with a caring and compassionate hand on my shoulder and some meaningful eye contact (SO MUCH EYE CONTACT.  THE EYE CONTACT IS NOT NECESSARY), you are not making anything better.  In fact, you are drawing EXTRA attention to my desert wasteland of a womb, and now I have to try to make you feel better and convince you that you didn't just shatter my entire life apart.  It's shattered.  Already.  You're fine; just please stop talking.

Worse, though, is when pregnant friends withhold information from me that I really want to know in the fear that it will utterly destroy my soul beyond repair (I assume that's the fear, anyway).  For example, this weekend Husband's Best Friend and Arizona Sister-in-Law both get to find out the sex of their babies.  I am excited about this.  I promise that I am.  And I've known exactly when this day would come for months now.  I'm prepared.  I will squeal and gush and talk about how great having a baby of that particular sex will be.  I've trained for this.

So when I see Arizona Sister-in-Law gushing all over Facebook with Michigan Niece about how it's coming up and it's so exciting and Michigan Niece wants to know as soon as possible and Arizona Sister-in-Law has been composing cutesy texts to send her... it makes me wonder why she hasn't even told me that it's coming up.  Hard to considering that she's not talking to me at all right now because it is apparently impossible for her to tell me anything pregnancy-related without me dying and it is equally impossible for us to talk about anything whatsoever that isn't pregnancy.  Even though I've tried to tell her that's not true.

For real, though, if she continues her silence and doesn't tell me about the sex of her baby and I have to find that out from Facebook or some nonsense, I will be really hurt.  I don't know whether I should call her and inform her of that or not.  I want her to know, but I wish I didn't have to tell her.  It makes me feel like I'm forcing my way into her personal life, when I used to just be part of it.

You know what?  If she doesn't tell me then I will just pick a sex myself.  And if that is not the correct sex I WILL JUST ACT LIKE IT IS, FOREVER.  Problem solved.