Saturday, December 27, 2014

Christmas: A Recap

So I drove home for Christmas (about two hours from where I live now).  And I forgot to bring my Clomid.

I FORGOT TO BRING MY CLOMID.

Sooooo here is how my Christmas morning went down.

I got up early and called my gynecologist.  Turns out he does not work on Christmas.  Wonderful.

I called the office and asked for the on-call nurse.  She did not want to help me.  She also clearly did not want to be working on Christmas.  I am not her biggest fan.

I called again and asked for a different on-call nurse.  She was very helpful and told me that she could tell a local pharmacy to page my gynecologist and ask him to authorize filling my prescription there.  I said, "Excellent.  How long will that take?"  She said (basically), "I dunno.  Some amount of time.  Have fun not being able to do anything with your Christmas while you wait!"

I called the pharmacy, and I got put on hold.  FOR HALF AN HOUR.  Finally, someone answered and I quickly explained my situation and asked whether they had been able to page Dr. Angry Eyebrows yet.  Silence.  Turns out the call was dropped as soon as someone answered.

I broke some things.

I called the pharmacy again, and the cheery automated voice let me know that there were about six callers in front of me.  Last time I called there were only three.

I rage-screamed, "SCREW THIS!" and drove to the store to give them a piece of my mind in person.

It is very important to me at this time that you know that I looked like this:


I didn't get to have any Christmas spirit the entire month of December thanks to finals, so when it was actually Christmas Day I may have overcompensated a bit.

But anyway, I'm waiting in line, looking like that, FOR AN HOUR, and I finally get to the front.  I explain my story for about the sixteenth time that day to the nice man behind the counter, and he looked up my information for me.  They did not have my Clomid ready yet.  Not even close.  Also I am fairly sure that he looked at me and thought, "Really?  YOU want to procreate?  You look like you are 14.  Also an insane person."  I tried to act as mature and child-ready as possible, but in pigtails and an ugly Christmas sweater it's pretty tricky.  He told me to come back in an hour.  I told him to go die.

No, I did not.  He was very nice.

But I did get right back in line again and wait for another hour.  When I finally got to the front for Will You Give Me Drugs Now: The Sequel, I was rather grumpy.  But I was not as grumpy as Miss I'd-rather-be-home-drinking-eggnog-than-anywhere-near-this-waiting-hoard-of-sick-people behind the counter.  She gave me attitude.  But she also gave me drugs.

Hooray!  Crisis averted!  And it only took me about four and a half hours to get it sorted!  I could have driven home and back in that time, and I would have had an extra half hour.  Additionally, I had to pay full price because the store didn't have my insurance information and I didn't have it on me.  AND thanks to the time-consuming nature of all the hassle, I had to take it like three hours later than I was supposed to.  I hear that taking it at inconsistent times increases your side effects.  So.  I'm looking forward to that.

Merry Christmas!!

10 comments:

  1. But, you got it!
    That means you're one step closer to the big goal!

    BTW - I'd literally pay money to see that picture in the original. ;-)
    Good luck this cycle!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How much money are we talking here?

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    2. Just checked my wallet and I have two quarters, a nickel and a hair tie.
      I'm assuming that's more than enough, right ?(the hair tie really sweetens the pot)

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    3. Hmmm. That hair tie is really hard to pass up. But how would you get it to me? I obviously require payment upfront for such valuable property.

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    4. Obviously!
      I man with a briefcase chained to his wrist is en route.

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    5. Perfection. Expect a helicopter to descend on your house promptly and deliver a copy of the original locked in a safe. You'll find the key buried exactly five miles west of your front porch. Enjoy!

      Delete
  2. I want to tell you how much I love you and how much this post made me cackle. But it mostly comes out as a string of profanity. So I'll rein it in. This is much funnier in retrospect, hey? Like the way this is written is super not how it sounded first hand when you were going through it. LOL But... yay! Clomid!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true. Everything is funnier in retrospect. If I had posted this while I was still going through it, the post would have been in all caps and it would have read something like:

      WHY AM I STILL ON HOLD? HOW FREAKING HARD IS IT TO PICK UP THE PHONE? I JUST WANT TWO PILLS. AND I KNOW YOU HAVE PILES OF THEM. YOU ARE PROBABLY JUST SWIMMING AROUND IN YOUR PILES OF CLOMID INSTEAD OF ANSWERING THE PHONE. CAN YOU JUST STOP FOR A SECOND AND GIVE TWO OF THEM TO ME SO I CAN PUT THEM IN MY FACE? WE WILL FIGURE OUT THE PRESCRIPTION LATER. I MEAN, YOU DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M LYING ABOUT IT? DO YOU THINK I'M AN ADDICT TRYING TO CON YOU? IT'S CLOMID! NO ONE TAKES CLOMID FOR FUN. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME IN YOUR FACE, TOO, AND WE WILL SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!?

      Delete
    2. BAHAHA! Cant. *gasp* Breathe!! Right? Def. better that you waited ;)

      Delete

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