Tuesday, November 25, 2014

No More, Please.

My dad's not great at taking hints sometimes.  So when Brother and CSIL tried to schedule a dinner with him prior to Thanksgiving so that they could tell him their pregnancy news before they tell the whole family, he absolutely refused to even entertain the idea if Husband and I weren't coming, too.  Because we are in town!  And he likes us very much!  So he wants to spend all the time with us!  And Brother and CSIL could not very well tell him that they did not want us to come because that would be weird!

That is how I ended up eating a calamari platter at The Cheesecake Factory and trying very hard not to show how impatient I was for Brother and CSIL to just say the thing already because I knew the thing was coming and I wanted to get past the thing and onto other things.  I'm unsure how effective my attempts to hide my impatience ended up being, but I deserve an A for effort.

When they finally said it, it was a relief.  Dad expressed happiness.  Dad's Girlfriend asked repeatedly, "Is this a joke!?  Seriously!?  No, really; twins!?  I'm just still not sure whether you're joking or not.  Are you pranking me!?"  (I know how you feel, Dad's Girlfriend.)

And then it was all over and the conversation moved on and the rest of my evening was lovely.  I gave myself a pat on the back for getting through it, and I felt stronger and more peaceful for hours, just basking in the glow of my accomplishment.


I maintained a smile for the actual announcement, but then came The Questions.  How far along?  What genders?  What names?  Who knows so far?  Could she tell already which twin was her favorite and which would be the disappointment?  As it became clearer and clearer that I was trapped in this conversation, I had to start asking myself questions of my own.  Is this how my face is supposed to go?  How do normal people put their faces when they are present for a double baby announcement?  Am I talking too loudly?  Saying too many jokes?  Is the twinge of desperation apparent in my voice/expression/eyes/aura?  How many times is too many times to escape to the bathroom in one dinner?  How hard would it be to strangle myself with calamari?  Is there a way to get Dad's steak knife out of his hand and through my heart before he notices?

The dinner took almost three hours.  So that was fun.

But don't worry.  As soon as it was over I got to go home and relax.  In fact, I treated myself and spent the rest of the evening recuperating.


CSIL's sister was in town, so when the dinner was over CSIL insisted that we come up to their apartment and say hi to her.  I backed away in panic.  Because CSIL cannot trick me!  Nobody is saying hi in that apartment.  CSIL is pregnant, and her sister just had a baby, so I know exactly what will be discussed if I go up to that apartment and I know exactly how long it will take.  The answer is forever.  It will take forever because people can talk about babies FOREVER.

But I was at a disadvantage in the discussion of whether to go up because I had to go to the bathroom (because I drank so much water at the restaurant so that I could go to the bathroom there, but my stupid bladder did not understand its job at all) so eventually I had to go up, if only to relieve myself.

And that is how I now know that CSIL's nephew is standing up sometimes, and that he cries a lot, and that he can pick up really heavy things, and that he's very cute but not a great listener, and that he torments the cat, and that he wakes up at seven, and all kinds of other things that I was not in the mood to learn.

Now I really am home and it's late and I'm emotionally exhausted.  I feel like I need a week to recover my good humor.  And yet I know that Thanksgiving will be even worse than what I've just gone through and I also know that it is in two short days.  So... yaaaay.  I can't wait.


  1. ugh this sucks. You totally fooled me! I was thinking "oh these people are so sensitive that they changed the subject and not nearly as one-track-minded as most parents to be" lol. not really. I am so sorry you had to endure that! Make sure you find the time to rest and emotionally recover!!

    1. Haha. Oh, if only. It makes me happy that I tricked you, though. ;)

      I'm trying to recover today, but everyone wants to hang out and I have homework and I have to make a pie for tomorrow and, just, ugh...

  2. Oh my, that sounds dreadful! I wish that we could live and work on an island and as soon as someone on our island becomes pregnant, they're sent away to live back among the fertiles.

    I am wishing you so much luck tomorrow. If you need an excuse to leave immedately after dinner, use one.

    1. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY. I want to live on that island very badly. Yes, please.

  3. Am I wrong here? You are the auntie?....why aren't you heavily included? I wish my children had aunts that were still alive and/or wanted to be included with anyone's children...whatever....they should treat you as a a caring part of the family. Hugs.

    1. Well there's not a ton to be included in right now. She's just actively growing children. There aren't a lot of things that I can do to help with that at this point. When the babies are born I'm sure they'll want me to be more involved. And hopefully I'll be pregnant by then so that being involved is a 100% happy thing for me.

  4. I remember being at a restaurant dinner with my Hubby's parents and his brother and SIL when they announced their first pregnancy. My MIL sobbed and was SOOoooooo happy. I had to make a bathroom visit so I could cry in the stall. It was so hard. I'm sorry you had to go through this difficult evening. My little sister also had 4 kids before I had mine. I'd been married a long time and we had been trying for several years already when she made the announcement for her first. I was so angry! Fortunately I was able to get over it and really, really got involved with my nieces and nephews, and they became super precious to us. I hope you are able to have as strong of a relationship with the littles joining your family too. It's pretty amazing being an auntie.

    1. I really hope so, too. I would be heartbroken if I let my own pain get in the way of having a relationship with my nieces or nephews. It's just so hard to keep the right perspective sometimes. :(


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